Why I Hate HP Technical Support

This is so bad it would be funny if it wasn’t happening to me. I emailed HP about the fact that my happy tablet randomly powered off, and got the following reply (my comments are in italics and brackets) :

Hello Anne, [I clearly stated that my name was Timmy. We're off to a great start.]

Thank you for contacting HP Total Care.

From the Email description, I understand that the notebook get [sic] shutdown suddenly  with out any error messages. Let me assist you in this regard.

Firstly, I appreciate you efforts in trying to troubleshoot the issue. [I would appreciate the sentiment if it didn't so clearly sound like he had to say that.]

The issue you are experiencing might be due to corrupt BIOS setting or power management utility [No, the issue is because you used treehugger solder and it comes unstuck at operating temperatures]. In order to resolve the issue I recommend you to perform [sic] below  steps:

* BIOS update:

I recommend you to Reset [sic] the BIOS from the below steps: [I'm here to say that the BIOS does not contain any settings related to fan/temperature management.]

1. Turn on or restart the computer.

2. Press the F10 key when the Press F10 to enter system utility message is displayed on the HP Invent screen.

3. Under Exit menu, select the option “Load Setup Defaults.”

4. Click Enter. ["Click"? What, with my mouse? Liar.]

* Reinstalling Power Management:

I recommend you to uninstall and reinstall the Power Management from the below steps:

1. Click Start, Control Panel, Performance and Maintenance, and then System icon. [When I filled out the form, you asked me what OS I had. I clearly specified "other". Which is clearly not Windows, since you listed every Windows version known to man.]

2. This opens the System properties window.

3. Select Hardware tab and click Device Manager.

4. Click “+” beside System devices.

5. Select ACPI Power Button.

6. Right-click the device and select Uninstall.

7. Restart the system.

Power Management will get installed automatically on restart.

Next, install latest BIOS update from the below FTP link:

ftp://ftp.hp.com/pub/softpaq/sp39001-39500/sp39359.exe

NOTE: Please install the BIOS update, if the notebook is installed with Windows vista [sic] operating system, as you have not mentioned I am not sure the exact [sic...I'm getting tired of these. The guy can't speak English. Enough said.] operating system in your notebook. Incase, any other version operating system installed, please ignore the BIOS update.[All right, I think I will.]

After performing the above steps check for the issue, If the issue persists then the issue seems to be internal hardware malfunction of the notebook which requires onsite diagnosis by HP technician[No. You could definitely help me narrow it down a bit. In fact--don't bother. I know it's just because of your treehugger solder and a bad design.] . Moreover, I have verified in our database with the serial number you have provided and found that the notebook warranty expires on  12/18/2008. [Just rub it in, why don't you...]

Hence, I recommend you to take the notebook to any of the HP Authorized Service Center in your region and get it repaired. For your convenience, I am providing the below URL from were you can locate nearest service center in your region:

http://h20465.www2.hp.com/GPL/search.aspx?language_code=en&country_code=us&SearchType=SSP

[There is no Service Center near my house. Not that I can afford to go to one anyway...]

NOTE:  Clicking the link(s) may give an error indicating that it is invalid.  If this occurs, copy the link and paste it on the address bar in your browser until the complete address has displayed in the Address box.

NOTE: Please select (Find a Partner for (Home & Home Office)).

In addition, I would like to inform you that, the HP has not identified any know issues with this series of model notebook.[The mere fact that you said this makes me think you're lying. The least you could've done is unbolded it...]

I apologize for the inconvenience caused to you in this regard.

I am sure the information provided will be helpful and addressed your concern [Well, you're wrong]. If you require any further technical support in future, please do let me know [You bet I will...].  I will be happy to assist you further in a timely manner[Thanks]. We work here to help our patrons 24/7. [All right, all right, enough marketing.]

For information on keeping your HP and Compaq products up and running, please visit our Web site
at:
http://www.hp.com/go/totalcare

Sincerely,

Austin [Don't lie to me, person-with-non-user-friendly-name-from-somewhere-like-India.]

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I guess I should just stop having any faith in OEM tech support. Remember the shenanigans I had with Dell?


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3 Responses to “Why I Hate HP Technical Support”

  1. suzanne says:

    hp tech support are very friendly, useless, but friendly. hp case workers who receive help tickets which are escalted are cranky. neither give a toss. i had a case worker tell me today that she has no supervisor and that those that are ‘higher up’ are ‘busy running HP business’. which confirms that once it’s out the door their concern ends. i was also told that the service center needn’t boot up a computer to determine if the hardware was working properly. really?

  2. Paul Moss says:

    HP support in warranty or out of warranty does not exist.
    I never (Except for Dell) , I have never talked to IT prof. at hp who was any help. If they new anything it was not apparent.

  3. cheryl says:

    I just got off the phone with them. Beyond useless. The only way they will help is if you pay the extended warranty again.

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